its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
