Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
