he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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