wakey wakey hands off snakey
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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