I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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