remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
