i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
