on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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