We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
