i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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