Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
