i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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