She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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