She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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