i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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