He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
