His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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