i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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