i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
