So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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