My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
