I wannas sexs uuuuu
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
