At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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