i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
