Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
