I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
