I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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