I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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