am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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