her vagine was all disorganized.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
