Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Screwed.edu
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
