I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
