Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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