I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
