Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
