THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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