i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
