Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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