I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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