I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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