she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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