She said her name was "party"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
