You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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