i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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