I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
