So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
