lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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