LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
