Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
