I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
